"Robert could piss in a cup and men would call it wine, but I offer them cold clear water and they squint in suspicion and mutter to each other about how queer it tastes."
THIS IS THE FUCKING PHONE THAT I LOST IN DECEMBER.
AFTER THE SNOW MELTED, I FOUND IT THIS MORNING FROZEN IN THE ICE.
HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET OUT THERE.
but does it work
this guy is systematically undoing the world
My enemies have made my kingdom bleed. I will not forget that. I will not forgive that.
arkansas is just a giant forest it’s like wherever princess mononoke is set but with a lot more white trash
Strange and creepy Pokedex entries #2 Drowzee’s Emerald entry.
#that time u met jesus and he was just like haha check out this sweet yo-yo
anyone realize how creepy george washington’s smile must have been
and that’s why he makes that face like he suspects someone farted or he just heard a bad joke
it’s because he didn’t have his teeth in, maybe
and even if he did he’d have the creepiest smile ever, so he’d shut his mouth just because, not because everyone did that back then
i think it’s cute when someone admits they have a crush on you
i think it’s a fucking miracle
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